They say if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen, but the truth is sometimes there's no getting out. Sometimes we find ourselves in a painful situation and there's no exit door! Sometimes we have to build that exit door and other times we just have to say a little prayer and hold on tight while we move through the fog until we get to a clearing and find it. So how do we prepare for these types of moments when we're always running away when the heat is on. We can try to fool ourselves into pretending the burn doesn't exist, saying things like, "Oh it's not that bad," or "It'll get better one day," or "Maybe I just need to change my perspective." While that approach may in fact be a necessary part of that particular journey, there are other times in which it only keeps us stuck in a place that is hurting us. What I'm offering is that there are some moments where it will serve us well to feel the disturbance for what it is rather than stifling it. Instead of talking ourselves out of feeling what we feel, this way suggests that we dive deeper into the discomfort that is present. After all, if we don't then we may start getting a little too comfortable lying to ourselves. When we get stuck in the habit of lying to ourselves it then creates such an inner blindness that we lose sight of who we are completely and we don't even see the exit door when it finally does appear; we miss our chance to escape... or even worse, we lose the desire to escape at all and remain a prisoner to a situation that is not well with our soul, accepting this as our "fate". So in a sense, that "Positive Patsy" mentality can actually LIMIT us and in some cases can even destroy us. It might sound good in theory to say, "just think positive, just think positive" but is that really the best advice for EVERY situation?? Comforting untruths are still untruths in the end. It might be a dirty job, but better to get down to the nitty gritty and see the truth that lies beneath, even if it causes you to make some big waves along the way. Of course, we can't go into battle without doing some strength training first and still expect to come out on top, can we?... so every time we flea the scene when the heat is on we are essentially missing out on a little practice session. That being said, if you can't stand the heat what should you really do???
It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway...we always have a choice. We can choose to be negative about a situation. We can choose to be positive about it. Blah blah blah. Or we can choose to just be honest. Even if it's brutal. It's not about focusing on whether the glass is half empty or whether it's half full, it's about recognizing if what's in your glass is serving you or hurting you. Sometimes we have to feel the burn to the fullest extent possible just so we can understand it. Once we have established a concrete understanding of our pain and where it's stemming from we are THEN eventually able to move passed it altogether by means of making a change or just allowing the wave to pass. We can't cut corners in life's big moments and still expect the best end results. There is a step by step process with most things in life and in the matter of dealing with pain the same rules apply; when one step is skipped the whole project often comes tumbling down.
Pain greets us many times in our lives and in many different ways. There's the avoidable pain and the unavoidable pain. The avoidable pain is something we bring on ourselves. For example, the pain of getting a spanking from your parent when you were a child because you did something you were warned not to do. You could have prevented the punishment, but instead went head on right into it. Often times we begin to feed this avoidable pain and make it grow by entertaining negative thoughts and blame (blaming ourselves in a destructive way or blaming others so we don't have to look at ourselves at all) or from just plain negligence, not taking enough care or thought in our steps. This avoidable pain when nurtured weakens us and slows down our growth. In the same way that light attracts light, so this avoidable pain only draws in more painful experiences like a moth to a flame. It creates confusion for the individual and while everyone around us can easily see the errors of our ways and how we are willingly dancing with these painful situations, we remain blinded and drown in a pool of pain that could have been avoided. Now, the unavoidable pain is much different. Unavoidable pain would be something more like the pain we feel when someone we love passes away; something entirely out of our control that no amount of positive thinking will wash it away. It is there when it's there and any rush to escape it will be a futile attempt and a waste of valuable energy that will only slow down the healing process. When we take that unavoidable pain into our loving arms and nurture it with empowering thoughts and self confidence in an act of total surrender, with our resistance down...that pain makes a stronger, better, more aware and it is through that pain that we unleash the true warrior within us and continue evolving into better versions of ourselves!
So we can take each painful moment and let it define us and break us as we continue to ask the question, "Why is this happening to me?" without really wanting an answer. That is one road we can choose to go down. The other path is where we take that pain and make it our bitch! We use it as an opportunity for conditioning. The pain starts moving through our loins like fresh lava from a long awaited volcanic explosion and we don't run away or try to bypass it or even tense up from the severity of it. Instead we not only stay the course and let it burn, but we take it a step further and relax ourselves into the depths of that fiery pain and if we're really good we'll even smile as the tears fall down our face. We are conditioning ourselves to feel all things to the very center of our core, with the deepest part of our being; to feel beyond logic and words that the mind tries to muster up in its desperate attempt to find understanding and put a label on it. When the mind throws out fun little road blocks like, "I just can't do this anymore...I'm not cut out for this," we observe the thought like a cloud passing by and remember we are still in the process of conditioning. Just because we don't feel strong yet does not mean we will not ever get there. In essence, it is in those painful moments that the weak parts of ourselves are actually dying. So if we can just hold on a little longer without entertaining the limiting thought patterns we then experience new life with the birth of our strength that comes to replace the weakness we have killed.
There are NOT too many quotes out there that work universally for all situations, though people will say them as if they do. Drives me nuts! In some instances, if we can't stand the heat, yes we do need to get out of the kitchen...and FAST...'cause the damn thing is about to burn down with us in it! However, sometimes if we can't stand the heat we need to STAY in it, toughen up, acclimate to that heat... basically stop being a little pussy and condition ourselves to be strong when the heat is on. The more we do this the easier it becomes mentally and emotionally to ride the winds of grace through the unavoidable pain when it presents itself so unexpectedly (as it loves to do). It can be difficult to distinguish the difference between times that call for an emergency exit or times that call for some deeper conditioning. However, just like with anything else, practice makes perfect!
Through the physical practice of yoga...hot yoga really...I have learned more about myself than I ever knew existed. I've found the warrior within that will not hesitate to breathe a ring of fire around myself to guard what is sacred and right. I have also found a softness within that allows for moments of total surrender and an unchained heart. Yoga has developed the peaceful dragon within and a greater discernment for which experiences in my path are avoidable, unavoidable, needed for growth, or a hindrance to my journey. Most importantly it has taught me to let go of my attachments to the things that are no longer serving me and to endure the things I can not change with strength, grace and dignity. The physical aspect of Yoga is only one limb on a tree with many branches. There are many things that make up a yogic lifestyle that go well beyond what we "practice" on our mats. We'll meet a million and one crossroads in our lives....if we're doing it right. Yoga teaches us to tap deep within the center of our being to find the answer as to which way we should go....an answer no outside source may not always be able to offer us.
The "Zenferno Yoga Life" is about finding peace and tranquility when the heat is on and the pain is great. It's easy to feel a sense of Zen in the energy of our yoga room before class has actually begun and something is actually expected of us...but now it's time to step into the "torture chamber", crank up the heat, and turn our raging inferno into a glorious Zenferno! In life, it's not about what happens to us, but rather how we respond to what happens to us. We must ask ourselves the question, "How is this moment shaping my character?" My vision for this blog is to bring yogic philosophies into our modern day experiences and to show how the wisdom of these age old principles have stood the test of time and will continue to work wonders in anyone's life no matter the culture or day in age. I hope you find these articles useful for you in some way and maybe even relate to them as you take a stroll with me through pieces of my journey and maybe even find victories over your greatest demons! Namaste!
